Skillings’ Perspective

This entry is long overdue. I will get right down to it.

1. Mandarin Studies

The positive:

I can introduce myself! I am proud to report that I can not only introduce myself to my CLASSMATES in spoken Putonghua (standard Mandarin), but that I can also do so in writing….in Hanzi! (characters). This may not be exciting to you but you must understand that for the first 4 weeks I felt like a toddler in pre-school learning how to sing and draw. I have moved up in the world…graduated…and have now started Kindergarten! My mom is so proud!

The negative:

The locals have ZERO idea what I am saying. The mile stone of graduating pre-school and moving on to Kindergarten gave me new found confidence and I took to the streets to test my skills with the locals. I figured if I just pronounced the words like I have practiced so many times before in class – where my teacher gives me a ‘Hen Hao’ (very good) and my fellow classmates can usually decipher what I am trying to say – I would have no problem! Even if I slightly mispronounce the words, the local Chinese will still understand….won’t they? I mean, I can usually understand the broken mispronounced English when the roles are reversed (laughing as I write this because you all know what I am talking about). Well, let me tell you….no one on the street can understand anything I say. I slow it down and I swear that I hit the proper tone on the right word….I even use my hands to indicate the proper tone for each word…but nope….no chance. Then after a few minutes they finally get it…and then repeat it…and it SOUNDS EXACTLY THE SAME AS WHAT I JUST SAID. And then they laugh. Great…back to pre-school for me.

2. The University of Kent Beijing Alumni Reception

The positive:

Kent is first class. From the moment we arrived at the 5 star venue at the China World Hotel Beijing until we left waddling out the door after devouring pizza and blueberry cheese cake, I was very impressed with the first class service of our gracious hosts and am very proud to soon be part of the alumni family. The Vice Chancellor, Professor Julia Goodfellow, the director of the international office, Mr. Stephen Wallis, and other University of Kent representatives hosted an excellent evening and treated us to dinner afterwards. During the reception, I was able to meet a distinguished list of former Kent students who were very curious about our studies at CFAU and a few recent CFAU graduates currently working within the Chinese MFA that are heading to Canterbury….fantastic contacts for the future.

The negative:

People are paying attention! I discovered that the international office is actually reading our blog….oops; I better keep on top of it then! Also, I wish I would have eaten more blueberry cheesecake….and maybe taken a pizza to go. It is hard to go back to slop on rice in the student cafeteria after eating such great food.

3. Intercontinental Experience

The positive:

Lots of laughs. I have started to teach English to staffers at the Intercontinental Hotel on Financial Street a few hours a week to make some extra cash for our travel plans to Seoul and Pyongyang. I have had a blast teaching reception and concierge staff as well as some middle management business English and casual conversation. Essentially, the 1.5 hour Tuesday – Friday class is a non-stop laughing experience. We do role plays of common (and not so common) situations in the hotel and my students never fail to surprise me with their answers and questions (would like to elaborate but perhaps would not be suitable – but just imagine them venting their frustrations by mimicking guests and accents…. so good). I have certainly made some friends for the future.

The negative:

Staff discount needed for Norwegian delegate. I don’t think they will give me the staff room rate I want for a two week period in May when a certain Viking from Norway comes to visit me. I will press this issue further and see what I can do.

4. Xinjiang Province Meat Feast

The positive:

Meat and politics – what could be better? Jesse and I recently met up with a contact of mine from my days at the EastWest Institute. I met Mr. Da Wei in Brussels during EWI’s Trialogue 21 Chatham House meeting last November and we have kept in close contact since. He is the Deputy Director of the Institute of American Studies within the China Institutes of Contemporary International Relations – China’s largest think tank by staff size. He treated us to a wonderful dinner at a Xinjiang Province restaurant and the food and conversation was wonderful. We ate so much lamb and talked about a variety of Chinese domestic and foreign policy issues. We will certainly meet him again as we promised to take him out for a few beers to thank him for such a great evening.

The negative:

Lost travel opportunity. I don’t think I will actually have the time to visit Xinjiang Province during my stay here. It is the massive province in the North West of China that borders Mongolia, Russia, Kazakhstan and numerous other ‘stans.’ The Province became the centre of attention last year due to ethnic tensions and is home to the Uyghur people.

5. The Attack of the ‘Special’ Midget Stink Man

The positive?

Umm, you can think of anything positive about being targeted by a psychotic midget on the metro for a 30 minute period who just so happened to attain the status of being within the top three of the worst smelling human beings I have ever encountered in my life thus far…..please let me know! We could smell this little guy coming for a few train cars away and the smell lingered for a few minutes after he left. He was walking up and down the train giggling like the joker in Batman and would attack us every time he passed by. He pulled my arm hair on one occasion while repeatedly making a Michael Jackson high pitched squeak. I was in shock and asked Belcher if that had actually just occurred. To our dismay he returned and this time latched himself on to Jesse….I was laughing very hard because it looked like Jesse was trying to shake a little dog off his leg who was “enjoying” itself. Again, the little dude passed by and then came back for round three…and then round four. With one stop to go before we reached our destination we saw the little guy approaching again…and we couldn’t bare the smell or the thought of him touching us again….so we just got off the train and caught the next one. We both felt ill and I may have dry heaved a few times on the street. However, for the record, I could totally handle the situation but got off the train because I thought Jesse was going to start crying

Alright…that is enough for now. Besides the fact that I am apparently a member of the Irish travesty Boy Zone, there is nothing else to report. Comments are welcome.

Dan

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